Faith is what I need. Hope is what I have to keep this relationship going. I don't know if I was being cruel by saying those words I spoke to you yesterday, all I know is that it hurts to see those tears form at the corner of your eyes. You tried to hide, but I could feel the pain you felt then. I believe you felt the pain I feel too, when I said those words to you. I know it's hard to break this; I don't think I'll ever find the courage to say those words again. "I am sure we make a good us." you said the other day, and deep down I know we will make good this relationship. Time together isn't long I know, but it's enough time for me to realise what I want and how much you actually mean to me.

You got me so addicted now I just can't get enough of you.



Remember what you told me yesterday, and all the days before. How do you expect me to believe you if you keep doing this to me time and time again? You know how much I hate it; you know how I can figure things on my own even if you kept it from me deliberately. You gave me hope, you made me believe in us; yet you're the one who willingly shatter my hopes all the same.

Remember what you told me yesterday afternoon, and know if you meant whatever you said, remember my dear.

"他曾经熄灭了她的希望，如今又把希望重燃。"



This won't work, I know it won't. But I hate to give up because you mean too much to me now. I apologize if I made you unhappy without knowing it, if I had a bad attitude and temper, if I caused you to get into unnecessary trouble..and I don't know what else I did that I should apologize for. I don't know what to do anymore, it gets extremely frustrating when things like that happen and all the hopes I had before just falls apart..

I always try so hard to suppress my feelings, which is very difficult for someone like me..I try to act nonchalent and pretend like I don't care when deep down, I do. Yes, I admit it eats into me a hell lot and affects everything I do, but I guess I have no right to complain because afterall, this is what I chose to do. And this is the price I have to pay. Worth it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, I don't really care - because looking at you just makes me forget about everything else, and whatever feelings I felt before wouldn't matter anymore. This is what you can do to me. This is how you affect me and my life if you don't already know. I'm not perfect, am nowhere near perfection either. But I believed I tried to make things work out..you don't know how I want this to work out so badly. And I hope that, despite everything that has happened in between, I still brought you some kind of happiness you can't find somewhere else. A kind of happiness that's unique to you, me - us.



To-die-for:


iPod nano. (link)



Here By Me
3 Doors Down

I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
And this I only see the truth through all this fear living without you

And anything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

I can't take another day without you
'Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
When anything I've ever known gets swept away
'Cause I don't go a lot

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

And every day alone I see
Some is standing still for me
And you're not here
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
When anything I've ever known gets swept away
'Cause I don't go a lot

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

_____________

Because I take comfort in little things like this. The second you sent me so far - simple, effortless, yet enough to calm the raging storm inside me.



Times like these when I don't know if I should hang on or let go.
Times like these when I have no clue if this will ever work out.
Times like these when I desperately need the assurance and yet there isn't any.
Times like these when I despise myself for not being able to hold back on my tears.
Times like these when I'm at my most vulnerable and helpless.
Times like these when I need to know if you meant the things you said to me.
Times like these when I know for sure you wouldn't give up anything for me.
Times like these when I hate myself for being nothing more than a burden.
Times like these when I wonder if you have any idea the amount of pain inflicted upon this heart.
Times like these when I wish you feel the pain this heart has to bear.
Times like these when I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me everything will be fine.
Times like these when the faith falls, hope diminishes, and everything else shatters.



Some silly cow drank a whole spoonful of vinegar just because I said he needed it.


You made me believe in love.
Our love.
Don't let me lose faith in it.

thelastperfectthing@gmail.com







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