this skin is gorgeous, isnt it?
Borders were having a '3 for 2' promotion, so you pay for the price of 2 books, and get the cheapest one free. so i bought
Good Grief by Lolly Winston (new book),
The Time Traveler's Wife (pretty recent too) and finally
Tuesdays With Morrie. spent $38.80 in total and i guess its quite a bargain. im loving Borders more and more but im still quite confused about how their books are arranged. anyway dont think i'll read those 3 books anytime soon cause im currently only at chapter 4 of
The Secret History by
Donna Tartt. a darn good book i would say, with plenty of profound usage of words i dont quite understand. it is intriguing and somehow the way the author wrote it makes me want to read on and not give up halfway like i might do with other books. calculated and think i might complete the book in about 14 days or so if i continue to read religiously day and night, in the car, on the way to and back from school etc.
what i write here is a poor reflection of what i am actually going through. maybe because im not expressive or articulate enough, or perhaps certain emotions people actually experience are just impossible to define. was feeling damn fucked up over the weekend. dont know why. might be the common tests..or something i cant quite explain. sometimes i think im just trying too hard. i do what i think might work, when in fact they do not. or perhaps they do, but of course i know they wont last. i wonder why i dont get angry at the sudden outbursts. and when i do, i would end up feeling immense guilt for successfully pissing you off once again. i would blame myself for not being careful with my words, for not being aware of the consequences for saying things that i shouldnt be saying. and even after a few occasions, i would continue doing the exact same things, and history would repeat itself.
its almost like a vicious cycle because we do not learn, do we? these days, im getting quite sick of it all. i dont know..tell me how do you start a conversation with somebody you annoyed. cant exactly think of anything wise enough to say. sigh. i guess the above paragraph is my feeble attempt in trying to understand myself a wee bit more.
on a lighter note, happy chinese new year everyone. the only thing im thrilled about, is the money im going to get. yes, i am practical, money-minded, and materialistic, so sue me.
happy 18th, sandee.
1:20 AM
