Moved.

looking back..

2004 has got to be one of the more exciting years i had on planet earth so far. the ups, the downs. countless. leaving secondary school, leaving Fairfield, my home of 10 years is one big obstacle. coming to poly is another. no where else beats Fairfield. that striking yellow and blue uniform. that comfort zone. that playground. that very place where all the fondest memories are. no where and nothing can ever replace that huge chunk of memories inside me. never.

work. ive learnt a lot this year. be it through my previous job at Esplanade, or entering ngee ann. my job at Esplanade has got to be the best job offer i ever got. through sheer luck i would say. ive learnt a lot. learnt that the world out there is as big as it can be. tales you hear about it..sounds intimidating and maybe untrue, but the outside world is really as scary as you read or hear. i can say for sure that the job at Esplanade is one of the more memorable highlights this year. realised what i love to do. if given a chance, i really wouldnt mind going back there again. work wasnt 100% smooth-sailing. i had my fair share of obstacles to overcome, and it was no easy feat. glad i managed to survive the harshness of it all so far.

poly. i still dont know if taking up BS in NP is the best choice ive made so far. i have my regrets at certain points in time. but im glad to have found a cool bunch of classmates here at ngee ann. my poly life so far is just total slacking. and i guess that might be how im gonna go through the remaining 2 1/2 years there. i keep saying i will make the effort to be more diligent in my studies, but i have to admit that i never did. last minute revisions and chiong-ing of notes dont count. kinda shameful huh. well i cant say for sure i'll be able to score good grades in school, but i can promise i'll try. doing my best is all that matters. what a way to comfort myself huh. sheesh.

relationships. forged countless this year. my heart broke, i cried over what-seem-like-everything-but-is-actually-nothing now that i look back. i made so many ridiculous and silly mistakes. and i just dont learn. but at least i managed to pick myself up time and time again..i admit i do cry and mope and act like the sorriest fool on earth, but im glad those times didnt last. i can even laugh and joke about the silly shits i did before. even hated myself sometimes for being such an idiot. heh. i dont know what's in store(is this the correct word? hmm.) for me in the next year and years to come, but again i promise i'll change. i'll try. i'll be more mature.(sheesh!!) one thing i want to do, is not let my imagination run wild. im not gonna give a shit anymore. i dont want to expect anything when there's nothing. sometimes having a oh-so-fantastic sense of imagination wont do you any good yea.

friendships. am grateful that i still meet up with my classmates from Fairfield. some friendships may have faded..some strengthened. i have to admit it takes quite a bit of effort to keep in contact with someone..and i guess i dont always make that effort with every single one of my friends, save for the close ones. i remembered my auntie once told me that the friends you made in secondary school are the ones you usually keep in contact with for the longest period of time. seems true for me i guess. had friends outside school..not many though. just a couple. but i guess its enough. for now at least. classmates from tb22. made school more interesting. made lectures and tutorials "fun". heh.

in the past 364 days. i read the most number of books, earned the highest amount of money so far, went to the most unforgettable concert of the year, my relationship with my parents improved, i had my heart broken twice, i started learning how to drink alcohol, found out how coffee taste like, spent the most amount of money(i think), i removed my braces(i really really miss them), went gaga over a fellow Singaporean, had a taste of poly life, met my first online friend, i learnt how to knit, watched the most number of movies, i backslided(again)..well thats all i remember to far.

alright its past 12AM on the 1st Jan 2005..so here's wishing my blog readers a very HAPPY NEW YEAR.

oh just wanna take this opportunity to make a little shout-out to some ppl in my life..

guohao. thanks for everything. thanks for bearing with my constant whacking(i know it hurts, im trying to be less violent/aggressive k..) cant imagine what life will be without you. my closest guy friend. who seems to read my mind sometimes. sometimes only..haha. thanks for accompanying me wherever i wanna go. thanks for willingly carrying my heavy bags whenever we're out. thanks for hearing me out when i needed someone. you've been a great pal so far. appreciate and am grateful for you. but sometimes you just worry me more than anything else. i remembered after we got our results for 'O's, how upset you were and everything..remembered how sometimes i hate the way your family for being so strict with you. how everything you do(like going to a JC) is for your mum and all, just pisses me off. you doing so much and your mum doesnt understand. there was once i wondered what would i do if you died or something, and i figured i would be too distraught to even attend your funeral..haha. not cursing you or anything lar. well i hope ive been as good as friend as you've been to be.(despite the shoutings/screamings/whacking/pinching/whatever.) oh, i think im so gonna die when you enter NS. dont gooooooo.......aha.

wee cheng. someone i really admire. your courage for doing and saying things you want to say without hesitation. thanks for all the movies you watched with me..My Girl, 2046, Before Sunset, and the recent Phantom. thanks for being so onz all the time. thanks for hearing me out and cheering me up all the time. thanks for those forwarded smses. thanks for bring there. thanks for everything. i appreciate them all. uhmm i know you really want me to be happy(i hope im right..lol.) reading that entry on your blog just brought tears to my eyes.(argh sounds so mushy..-_-") really appreciate those smses. really do. reading them over never fails to put a smile on my face. and dont ever feel guilty for something you said. ive never blamed you. you're one friend im really proud of.(sheesh i dunno why.) its only been a year since ive known you, but you're definitely someone closer to my heart. really really glad to have known you..still remember exactly one year ago at Cityhall..(muahahaha! :P) i must say i enjoyed all the times spent with you, even though we dont see each other often. going out with you just makes me put aside all my problems. (i think i wrote a lot of crap..as usual.) the bottomline: thanks for being you. :) but please do help make some decisions sometimes k? its very stressful for me to make them all you know. well i have to say this is one book you definitely shld not judge by its hard exterior.(ie hard cover books.) qian(not used to calling you this..) is a paperback! hahahahahha! -_-" so lame. blech.

yufen. the company during our job at Esplanade was invaluable man. kinda miss those times despite everything. i remember our late night suppers after work at Marina's Mc. those silly gushing about si ann. and not to forget jack. hohoho~ quite glad we managed to get into the same class in NP. really strange if you ask me cos we're like both appeal cases..haha. thanks for being there for me when i needed you..remember that time when we sat at the promenade just stoning? how could i forget that man. and that uncle that sold cotton candy and popcorn? and Saturday Night Fever? whoa, that was crazy. man those times were amazing. serious. one word to describe it? unforgettable. ;)

wai lreng. one faded friendship. doubt we can ever go back to what we used to be in secondary school. hardly talk to you nowadays..save for those times whenever you went to meet yufen. we dont talk like we used to..remember the other day when you came to crash? and we had to take buses from the same busstop? it just felt kinda awkward then..cos we didnt really have anything to say to each other. i guess i kinda expected something like this to happen..maybe because we just dont make that little effort to keep in contact. but no matter what, im glad we were once quite close..

daniel. im very very relieved that we still talk on msn..keep each other updated with things that are going on in our separate lives. guess we both tried to make that effort even though our conversations just die sometimes..no worries though. :) you're one friend im really proud of too..not forgetting those 5 years..haha. one extremely intelligent guy with that air of nonchalence around you. elena told me you looked happier now..really happy when i heard that. you've been a great friend..would love to meet up with you soon! you said you have a bad memory for remembering ppl's names and faces..but you had better not forget me alright. i'll kill if when you do. i promise. and no, you werent exactly a jerk. ;)

okay i think this is one long entry for the beginning of a new year..heh. i started at like 11PM and ended only now. either i type way slowly, or i had too many interruptions in between.(for example those nudges on msn7.) anyway i screwed. i havent done OB e-learning and CIP project. damn.

1:56 AM

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